Our first little love left Bithiah’s a couple of weeks ago. She went to a new (maybe forever) family. It was good. It was so sad. Many tears were shed as our staff said their goodbyes. Her things were packed, her scrapbook finished, her new mommy got all the information (and then some!) she would need on her medical care. It was time.
Bithiah’s did exactly what it was created to do. We felt confident that the love given to her will carry her throughout her life. Even though she stayed just a few short months, she will always have a special place in our hearts, and we hope we will always have a special place in hers as well.
The sadness is good. It means she was loved like our own. If we did not grieve, then we did not attach. Attachment is so important, even if it’s for a limited time.
For the other little loves, there is transition and grief as well. The sweet babe that left had a special bond with the other littles at Bithiah’s. We are sensitive to their transition and adjustment.
Foster care is this big blend of messy and beautiful. Trauma, transition, uncertainty, and grief, coupled with healing, growth, new beginnings and hope. Glimmers of light during dark days. Children in foster care are warriors. They hang on and adjust even at a very young age. They shouldn’t have to be this strong, but they are. No child should ever have to be moved from home to home, meeting new caregivers to act as their mommy until the next one arrives. A family should not be a luxury that is only afforded or awarded to certain children. Children should not have to hope for a family, or hope that the new foster home loves them enough to adopt them. Broken families, abuse and loss shouldn’t be a part of a child’s story. But for some, it is.
At Bithiah’s, we pray that the time that each child spends there is a time of healing, love, happiness and hope. We love them and care for them as if they were staying forever. We grief them when they leave as if they were our own. Hellos and Goodbyes.
With each goodbye, we will get better at it, but it will never get easier. That is the good thing. Hard goodbyes mean we loved well. And that is the most important thing of all.